Friday, July 7, 2017

The Best Ramadhan

If last year I shared with you my Ramadhan story, this year I'd like to do the same thing too but only this time it would be about my experience from few years back. It was the most memorable and precious Ramadhan ever in my life. Even to this day, I can still reminisce the moment and remember the feeling vividly.


Ahh..I will never forget.

Allow me to take you back to 5 years ago, 2012.

It was my first experience celebrating Ramadhan in a foreign country. With no familiar faces or any relatives around me, I had to learn to live independently. To be honest, I was already emotionally unstable because of the situation I was in. Adding to that, having to break my fast alone was already too much for me. Unlike other Malaysian students, I lived with local and foreign housemates who were Non-Muslims and Non-Malaysians. So everyday during Ramadhan, I would have my sahur alone in my room because I didn't want to wake them up at night.

A few of my Malaysian friends who lived nearby were the ones who would accompany me to the Multifaith Centre for taraweeh. At the beginning of Ramadhan, I was feeling melancholy and I still remember I cried so hard during my first taraweeh prayer. The faces of my parents and siblings were flashing through my mind. Thinking of how far I was from them made me even sad than I already was. But everything happens for a reason – little did I know that it would be the best Ramadhan in my life!

That Ramadhan I spent the whole month doing good things. I read the Qur'an and did the Sunnah prayers almost every night. It was a total different experience for me. Forgive me if I sound like bragging. I don't mean to. There is something about living alone in a different country that makes you feel small, drawing you closer to The One who created you. That feeling is the kind of feeling that I'm missing now. If I could turn back time and show you the whole thing with your own eyes, I would.

One day, my friend and I went to a mosque located about 25 to 30 minutes from where I lived. It was near the city. We had our taraweeh there. Never in my 19 years of praying taraweeh during Ramadhan I cried because of the Surah recited by the Imaam. I had never read the meaning of the Surah he recited that night. But I felt khusyu' in my prayer and that was the most beautiful night of Ramadhan ever. It was as if I could understand the meaning of the Surah. Subhanallah. That Ramadhan too was the Ramadhan where I was eagerly looking forward to Laylatul Qadr and I gave my very best to pray the Sunnah prayers at night. I went to sleep as early as I could and woke up in the middle of the night. By Allah's will, I could wake up without feeling tired or being forced. It was so easy. Unlike these days – I miss those days.

To summarise my Ramadhan experience from 5 years ago, not only it was the best but that Ramadhan cured my pain and sadness. That Ramadhan changed me from the inside, providing me some inner peace in my heart. I became a calmer person. It gave me a new meaning of life and that journey had changed the way I look at obstacles and challenges as rizq and opportunities. That was when I started to embrace life and appreciate every second I had. If I could relive that moment, I would do it so that I could be that person again. I was really in love with my ibadah – be it obligatory or Sunnah prayers. And I miss that.





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