|The view outside my room|
It felt like home when in Brisbane.
Even after today, whenever I mention about the place, I'd imagine myself there again. That's how much I miss that place. I've never felt more comfortable living my life than when I was in Brisbane. I had everything under control, manageable and I was able to go through my day as planned; morning workout, preparing lunch, hangout with friends and sometimes workout again. Sigh. I miss my daily routine there. I know this sounds unfair because when I was in Brisbane I was wishing for the opposite; I want Malaysia, halal food, family and my closet! It reflects so much about how Allah described (in the Qur'an) about us humankind. We tend to look at things that we don't have and less grateful for what is in front of us. We search for what our hearts desire or simply, we just want what we want.
I know I need to learn to be grateful for what I have.
But it's undeniably true that to allow your heart (I repeat, the heart not the mouth) to say alhamdulillah is not easy. It needs more practice. It needs more sincerity in the heart.
So many things have changed since I came back for good. My daily routines and diets have changed. I've been indulging myself in unhealthy food for months and have been putting a lot of weight since. I'd be lying if I say I don't feel stressed at all. However, I'm still thankful that I wasn't the size that I was before. Alhamdulillah. I don't want to be where I was again. I'm thankful that I have this awareness earlier than I did before. Again, alhamdulillah.
Maybe bad times aren't bad at all. If we look at the positive side, it could help us to feel better. It's the clear thoughts that can help us to think wisely and less emotional. Once our mind is clear, we can help to get ourselves back on track. Insha'Allah.